HomeЛюди и блогиRelated VideosMore From: FANATIC gaming

OLD MAN TELLS FUNNIEST JOKE EVER!

108086 ratings | 4389054 views
Old man tells joke about irs and gambleling. Like and subscribe
Html code for embedding videos on your blog
Text Comments (7590)
Juan Gonzalez (52 minutes ago)
Why did the old lady fall down a well? Because she didn't see that well
Dallas Isa (3 hours ago)
Dammmmmmmm
RolandoyAnny Pińa (5 hours ago)
ok DESPERADO....thats the joke from that movie un original
Kong Strong (5 hours ago)
Judging from the comments no one has ever seen the movie Desperado. This is Quentin Tarantino's joke. Check the movie out. Great movie!
Alfonzo Dowe Jr (6 hours ago)
***SAMPLED FROM THE MOVIE "DESPERADO"..THE BAR SCENE*** Cool little twist though dude! 👍🏾
Dylan Chedister (6 hours ago)
He doesn’t look that old
david Windchester (6 hours ago)
that pee joke is from the movie desperado dude. You just made a twist on it 😂
Arturo Marquez (7 hours ago)
Muy bueno
LLIP DER (7 hours ago)
3 college guys on a road trip way out in the boondox driving allong hit a bump and the car dies ,being millennials none of even know which end the motor is on,any ways not getting any cell service now 2am they start walking seems like forever actually only 1/2 mi they come to farm house ,so they walk over knock on the door and old man answers with a shotgun ,says what the hell u boys doin on my property?? They say hey our car broke it's 30° can u plse help us we just need a place to crash till sunrise ,farmer says I make u a deal u can sleep in the barn I have 2 bedrooms added on ,my daughter is in one shes got razor blades in her pussy any if I catch any of y'all in there I kill ya .Ok ok no problem we just need a place to sleep , so the fellas go up to the room bout an HR later one of em starts laughing they say what ? He says these old farmers say anything keep way from there daughters chuckle chuckle the other 2 say yah whoes got the balls to bone her they end up flipping a quarter one guy Winn's rubbs his hands frantickly giggles n off he goes 20 min later comes back goes right to bed second guy says dam must of been good knocked his ass out second guy goes comes back 20 min later same thing goes right to bed third guy can't wait goes over 20 min later coming back knocks a huge board off the porch lights all come on farmer goes running up with his shotgun ok that's it drop your pants or I kill ya all three drop there pants two of em peckers are bleedin so farmer shoots em farmer says how'd ya do it son third guy opens his mouth tongue falls out !!!
Walt Patterson (8 hours ago)
I heard crying from the other side of the fence and looked over to see my neighbors 5 year old daughter crying and digging a hole. what's wrong? I asked my bird died so I'm burying it. she said I said that's a big hole for a bird that's because it's in your cat. she replied
Walt Patterson (8 hours ago)
I heard crying from the other side of the fence and looked over to see my neighbors 5 year old daughter crying and digging a hole. what's wrong? I asked my bird died so I'm burying it. she said I said that's a big hole for a bird that's because it's in your cat. she replied
LLIP DER (8 hours ago)
Johnny was born on a farm was a huge deal was born only a head, father would carry him around on the tractor ,take him to football games,when Johnny turned 18 his father took him to the bar .Walked in music playin sets Johnny on the bar and orders him a shot , Johnny does the shot , suddenly sprouts a body! So in disbelief Dad orders Johnny another shot ,gives him the shot Johnny sprouts arms ! Unbelievable Dad days orders Johnny another shot gives it to him sprouts legs! This was unbelievable Johnny standing there in amazement the bartender was shocked Johnny says Dad give me another shot I wanna calibrate ,do Johnny does another shot and poof he disappears ! Bartender looks at Dad and says ,shoulda stopped while he was ahead !
Susan Elder (8 hours ago)
I heard this before, but still find it funny 😂😂😂😂
Justin Emo Howlingwolf (8 hours ago)
NOT FUNNY YOUR STUPIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!
gentlegiant6585 (9 hours ago)
😂Oh man. This made my bad day a little better🤣 Thank you!😁
π means nothing (10 hours ago)
Why does the mushroom go to the party? Because he is a fungus.
MC French (14 hours ago)
Hahaha, brilliant!
Glenn Ferguson (18 hours ago)
I like you you're funny
Dave Z (20 hours ago)
Good guy to tell jokes, thanks.
Hans Geiger (21 hours ago)
Can't understand his talking.................
Adam Roth (21 hours ago)
not bad at all! HAHAHA!
Xzendor7 (23 hours ago)
That was a good joke.
Michael Moreno (1 day ago)
That was the dumbest shit ever, u been watching desporado move to much👎
I don't know what to expect Edit after video: ah
Vincent Barrera (1 day ago)
Adam and Eve just finished have sex and Eve was washing herself in the river. God came down and scolded her saying "now I will never get that smell out of the fish"
WAR Sneakers (1 day ago)
This guy is old???
I'll Be In The Car (1 day ago)
That was damn good
ItsMason McEvoy (1 day ago)
I didnt laugh
Steven Mckenzie (1 day ago)
Isnt this the joke quentin tarantino told in the film desperado just a different story? Sorry if this has already been pointed out i didnt read the comments.
Aqua God (1 day ago)
God damn it Jim you dont know how to hold a god damn cell phone.
Alexandertheaverage (1 day ago)
Ask me if im a fireman
Super 225 (1 day ago)
A guy walks into a bar, takes a seat at the bar table, he looks to his left and notices a really small man about a foot tall playing a piano. The guys asks the bartender "who is that really small man playing the piano and how did you get him?" The bartender says "you see that small lamp behind me? I got that when I traveld around the middle east. If you rub it, a genie will pop out and grant you a wish. But there's something not quite right about the genie. You are more than welcome to go out back and try it" So the guy take the lamp out back. A few minuts later the guy comes back and says "what the heck! Whats wrong with this genie? I asked for a thousand bucks and I got a thousand DUCKS!" The bartender says "Do you think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?"
Ryan Scherbluk (1 day ago)
There are two people that are asked to go live on an island one man one women and they are allowed to bring five things to the island. They first ask the women what she will bring to the island she replies with. 1- cell phone 2 - makeup 3 - shoes 4 - cute outfits 5 - bras underwear socks They then ask the man the same thing he replies with. 1 - A house 2 - A kitchen 3 - A bed 4 - Cleaning supply's 5 - Lots of food and beer They ask the women why she picked those things she replied with. Well looking my best is imported to me even if I'm stuck on an island where no one can see me I got my phone to snap selfies of myself. They then ask the man the same thing he replies with. If I'm going to be stuck on a island with this women I need a house for shelter and need it to at least have a kitchen so that bitch can make my sandwich gotta have the bed so I can fuck her on. She will need the cleaning supply's so when I'm out hunting for food the bitch can clean the home and well I'll need the beer and a stocked fridge of food so I can relax after a hard day of work cause you know that bitch over there's not going to hunt for food or lift a finger to do anything.
Zad Rem (1 day ago)
A guy calls customer service and reaches to a woman. While he was talking to her he felt charmed by her voice. So he asked her out for a drink. She said ok and asked what he will look like. He said'' no worries, ill be wearing blue shirt and be drinking mango juice. The day of the date arrives and he asks the bar man, " do you have mango juice?" Bar man says,"No, but I have apple juice" He said,''what? Ok give me apple juice then." So he waits there and the woman arrives. He says to himself,'' Thank goodness there was no Mango juice, pheww'' The woman looks around and comes to him and asks,'' Are you so and so?'' The guy replies,'' I dont know him, Dont know what you're on about.'' Woman says,'' Yes you are him. You also have a blue shirt on'' The guy gets annoyed and tells her, ''Look lady does it look like I have mango juice''.
ROC City 585 (1 day ago)
Lmao!!! Funny AF! Great Delivery!
chito Fuentes (1 day ago)
He stole the joke from the movie desperado. It was funnier in the movie.
Cory Collins (1 day ago)
Damn this is good
brad riddle (1 day ago)
This is the QUENTIN TARANTINO (Bar) Joke in DESPERADO 🎬🍺
Jason White (1 day ago)
Well here’s my favorite! Dirty little Johnny was sitting on a park bench one day with a bag full of candy bars. He was enjoying the hell out of them eating one right after another. Well an old man was walking by and noticed Johnny was seriously over indulging..so he went over and sat next to Johnny. The old man says to Johnny “You know all those candy bars aren’t good for you”! Johnny looks up to him and says “Oh yeah,well my Grandpa lived to be 110 years old!” The old mans says “Oh really ,did he eat a bag full of Candy Bars?” ...Dirty little Johnny scrunches his little nose and says “No, He minded his own Fkn Business!!!!!!!!”
dB cooper (1 day ago)
Idk what's funnier, that joke or your herpes 😂😂😂
Adrianna Luketich (2 days ago)
A grandfather takes his grandson fishing one day, the grandfather pulls out a can of dip. Kid says can I have some? Grandfather said “can your d*ck touch your asshole?” Kid replies “no.” Grandfather says well than no. Next day they go fishing grandfather pulls out cigarettes. Kid says can I have one? Old man says can your d*ck touch your asshole? Kid says no old man says well than no. They get home kid eats cookies old man ask if he can have one kid says “can your dick touch your asshole?” Old man says yes. Kid says go fuck yourself grandma made these for me
Mr.TimePlace (2 days ago)
Why should I punch a black guy on a bike? Because it's probably my bike.
Evan McNamee (2 days ago)
Dang it as soon as he mention the old man and the agent I knew which joke this was..
Alex Elliott (2 days ago)
That joke was from Desperado the scene in the bar with Quentin Tarantino and the toothless guy
Ayden Sprague (2 days ago)
I've heard that so many times
bongo8ish (2 days ago)
dick van dyke changed his name on his managers recommendation his real name was penis van lesbian
#WarPigOnYT (2 days ago)
😂😂 thats a good joke!
LoudGuitr (2 days ago)
This guy is not an old man. He’s probably around 40. I know this because I AM an old man.
BairCichlids (2 days ago)
This is from desprado just changed up a little
lupdalup (2 days ago)
That's about as funny as a screen door on a submarine.
MR. ROAD DOG 56 (2 days ago)
Lmao 😂😂😂😂😂
Snarly Whiplash (2 days ago)
How come Mexico doesn't compete in the Olympics ?? Bcuz every Mexican who can run swim or jump is already in America !!!
Mike Rama (2 days ago)
Hahaha loved it
Ken li (2 days ago)
Good one
Keny Charles (2 days ago)
Thanks cat.
Lance Irons (2 days ago)
This is a modified version of the joke Quentin Tarantino told while sitting in the Mexican bar in the movie Desperado.
falconman10 (2 days ago)
Seriously, has no one seen Desperado? Quintin Tarantino character tells that exact same joke.
j Alvarez (2 days ago)
This guy says a bunch of retarded sht that made me crack up so bad 😂😂😂
Sanj Bilan (2 days ago)
I wonder if he’s ever watched desperado!
david glasser (2 days ago)
How do you pick up a Jewish girl? You go to Auschwitz with a dust pan
Joel Doherty (2 days ago)
Am putting this page on my thumbs up list for the jokes... And here's mine... What's the difference between a pussy and a cunt? A pussy is the hole between a woman's legs, a cunt is the hole between her ears.
Miguel Rios (3 days ago)
That joke sounds just like tthe joke on the movie Desperado just lil different same pee shit please get new material
Ryan Skroch (3 days ago)
Amazing
Untrepid One (3 days ago)
He isn't old you fool.
Keshaki xp (3 days ago)
KKona
Mike (3 days ago)
Old joke.
Hobbyfan06 (3 days ago)
That’s awwesome 😂😂😂😂
Ryan Cole (3 days ago)
Funnies shit I’ve heard too this day😂😂💀
Jeff S (3 days ago)
What's the hardest part about eating vegetables? The wheelchair.
Joseph Pompa (3 days ago)
I want to thank you for that joke .You told it like you were on a stage with a mic very very funny thankyou again for making me laugh and out loud. I'm In a bad way and I cant figure out how to get out of this mess but when your feeling down you can't think straight so that joke you told got me up and I know it can figure it out Keep telling jokes cause your good at making people laugh and just that short moment well it helped me a lot I know I keep saying thanks well cause I mean it Joe P.
Renz 34 (3 days ago)
Sounds like the joke Quentin Tarantino told in the movie “desperado”
John Michael McDaniel (3 days ago)
Press read more Ur 2019 will be amazing like to activate
PorxQ _ (3 days ago)
😂
Rich Ghost (3 days ago)
This joke is from the film Desperado.
John Doe (3 days ago)
A man walks up to a pharmacist and ask him if he has viagra, he answers yes but you will need a prescription, then the man ask him, can you get it over the counter? The pharmacist says; if I take two, yes.
Deividas Tamasauskas (3 days ago)
Not funny at all... thats just a copy of real joke about the in the Bar just someone changed the story line. That’s very typical for Americans... not all of them of course.
Sam Price (3 days ago)
LMAO! That’s a good one
Jesse Ellis (3 days ago)
Awesome!!
Casey McElfresh (3 days ago)
So what I'm wondering is who decided that THIS was the FUNNIEST joke EVER!? Who makes that decision!? :/
g hough (3 days ago)
Thanks man best one Ive heard for weeks..thats a keeper XDDD
Experz (3 days ago)
Are all these long ass jokes supposed to be funny?
Emma Mae (3 days ago)
A Chinese family of 5, named Chu, Bu, Hu, Su and Fu decided to immigrate to the United States. In order to get a visa, they have Americanize their names. Chu became Chuck. Bu became Buck. Hu became Huck. Su and Fu decided to stay in China.
KEEVVY (4 days ago)
The ending Remembers me a bit of the joke in desperados
Marie Mackey (4 days ago)
A guy walks into a bar with a alligator, orders two beers one for him one for the alligator. Bartender tells him he can't being the alligator in there. The guy tells him it's ok he's friendly. Bartender says I don't know. The guy says here I'll prove it. Takes out his dick and puts it in the alligators mouth and starts hitting it in the head with a beer bottle, alligator didn't move, see it's ok. Bartender, I not sure. The guy says does any one else want to try it. Little old lady in the back says I'll try it but I don't know about that bottle in the head.
Jesse Ybarra (4 days ago)
So two drunk guys are hanging out together when they finally run out of beer. Guy one: fuck, we have no more beer(burp) Guy two: I'll go get us some more. Guy one: you can't drive while your drunk Guy two: I'm the best driver in the world, don't worry about it (Guy two walks to his car) Guy one: while your at it get can you get some ice. (Guy two gets in car, starts it and starts driving to the store. His driving was wobbly but he finally made it. He then bought 2 boxes of beer. Then he loads the beer into his car and starts driving back to his friend house. Since he was drunk he then crashed his car into his friend) Guy two: SHIT...I forgot the ice.
Donald J. Trump (4 days ago)
Greatest joke in the history of jokes, maybe ever!
Gash (4 days ago)
Recommend is really crazy lately, all of the cool small vids from years ago I’ve never seen
Pug Tortuga (4 days ago)
That’s a good one!
Banjo Billy (4 days ago)
There are three men walking along the sidewalk, two of them walk into a bar, the third one ducks.
Holo Prizm (4 days ago)
My wife and I visited a restaurant and we had decided to let the concierge figure out our menu and I remember thinking that I would like to have a steak. So I told him that would like you to bring me a steak that isn't too rare but isn't too burned butt right in the groove. He said okay I can do that so my wife added that she would like a water that has a temperate but clean taste like in the mountains, but also from a freshwater spring, not to left of soft, nor the right the right of hard, but right in the groove. so my daughter chimed in and said that she would like to have a dessert that wasn't too sweet but wasn't too bitter, but right in the groove. so he left, he came back and filled all of our orders, we all ate, we all sat and thought about it, and asked him to come back. we all complained, and we all had our issues with the way that it wasn't fulfilled to our best order. So we asked him if he could redo it all and he just sat back, and just looked at us. We asked him again and he just looked at us. so he looked at each one of us and told all of us that we could kiss his ass. Not to the left, not to the righ, but right in the groove.
Charles Tolbert (4 days ago)
This reminds me of the movie focus with will smith so much woo woo
Charles Tolbert (4 days ago)
Ahahahahahahahaha ahahahah man ahahah
Richard (4 days ago)
God made the earth, the sun, the moon, the stars, the animals and fish, the plants, and then He made Adam. He saw that Adam was lonely, so He made him a suitable partner by casting into a deep sleep and forming Eve out of Adam's rib. Now at last, creation was complete. Why did God do it in this order??? Because even He knew that a woman was the last thing we needed.
Geo Games (4 days ago)
WANT 3 SUBS? GO TO MY LATEST VIDEO AND COMMENT ✅✅
Mike Salas (4 days ago)
Quentin Tarantino says the same joke in desperado only thing different is this fat redneck tryna put his twist on it, doesn’t surprise me none white man r always tryna take something that ain’t there’s! Fucking honkys!
P (4 days ago)
Amazing
Andrew2121 (4 days ago)
Thats awesome
tonedeff714 (4 days ago)
2 condoms walk by a gay bar, one condom looks at the other n says “ wanna go inside n get shit faced”?
ItzJuan X (4 days ago)
This is a stolen joke
eastwell (4 days ago)
Man comes home to find his wife wearing crotless panties, do "you want to lick this" ?" F off look what did to your knickers" 😂

Would you like to comment?

Join YouTube for a free account, or sign in if you are already a member.